The emotional rollercoaster and a BIG decision

I've steered away from becoming too personal in this blog, because, well, its a public blog and no-one wants to hear self absorbed drivel about ones emotional state! Or do you? Well now I've decided to indulge. Those of you who know me well, also know that despite being a tough old bird I do feel things deeply and I dont always manage to hide turmoil or upset in my life, although after almost 45 years of practising hiding my feelings, its a well developed skill, to all but the most highly trained of eyes (about 4 people).

In the last week before I left I found myself crying, every day at almost nothing, this included being given a bookmark by Nicky and Paul (lovely, supportive neighbours) with a picture of Teggs Nose on it (this isnt actually a nose, its my local favourite hill to walk!), leaving Scuzzy (my spoilt cat brat) to go and have the best holiday ever in the Cotswolds and my mum saying that she would be proud of me even if I didnt manage to last more than a week here! It wasn't that I was actually sad, more like petrified and realising that I'd told the world and his wife that I was doing this so it would be too late to back out now.

What was I thinking? I had no development experience, been to sub saharan Africa once for 10 days, 10 years ago. You are thinking, a middle aged woman having a mid life crisis perhaps and needing to go to Africa to re-discover what life was really about!! Well I still dont know why I really came here, but I do know now, 2 months, on that it was the right decision. But it wasn't like that from the moment I landed. I spent the first 2 weeks wondering how I could possibly get used to being here, to shut out some of the more difficult aspects of life (some sights, sounds and even smells!), get into some kind of routine, try and remember who everyone was and to get used to the heat and the food. Oh and add starting a new job to that list! I wanted to run home, but I am far too stubborn to do that and thank God for that annoying streak of mine, it kept me here.

Slowly I adapted and stopped thnking about how long I'd been here and instead how long I had left. I've found myself really starting to notice and take joy in the most simplest things in life (yes even more Rosie!!), like switching on the hall light last week and saying to myself 'power, yes!!' like it was some kind of miracle. I take the time to talk to people in a way I've never done before and consciously take in the sights and sounds around me, even they are upsetting. So in a way, I am more emotional here, but in a good way. Making friendships here has also been very important to me and its difficult when people leave (Martin, Tim, Jamal and others) because they leave a gap that cant be filled.

So... I have made a big decison to extend my placement and stay till Christmas and I await VSO's response. The only thing on the horizon to scupper my decsion to stay is the impending rains. They have started. Everything stops, no more trips to the beach, even buying bread and gettign to work will be a major ordeal. I hope to cope with it constantly raining non-stop for days on end! So to avoid some of it I'm coming home for a month from 30th July to escape and enjoy the rain in the UK instead!

The pictures with this blog are all taken today at 3 different primary health care facilites in the Kenema District (5 hours from Freetown) where we are on a monitoring visit.

About nothing in particular.....

I couldnt figure out a theme this week so here are some random thoughts and observations in no particular order that leave me happy, sad, curious and other emotions…....


Children work so hard here, from being so young. Saw a child no more than 8 trying to balance a huge barrel of water on his head this morning at Kenema Hospital and he would have managed it too, if it hadn’t been dripping all over him. I assume he wasn’t in school, you have to pay (and it costs about a months salary at least for most, that’s if the parents have a job

The rains are coming and when it does rain, its like god pouring buckets of water on the earth!


Inanimate objects have more importance here. My trusty laptop, coupled with mobile internet is my lifeline (thanks Adam) and this technology seems at odds in a country where water and electricity are constantly a challenge for most citizens (including me!)
Poverty and suffering is all around every day but yet, this is very far from a depressing place

People are incredibly stylish here (not me obviously) and you see women come out of corrugated iron shacks looking like a million dollars.

• The money smells terrible and is a main source of cross infection, although new money has just been released and there are funny posters telling people not to put the money in their underwear, write on it or fold it wrongly!!


• Many people talk about their experiences of the war and there are so many accounts. Its like an enormously complex 3d jigsaw puzzle to me. But there are some commonalities in the stories which I am trying to piece together. Certainly everyone I talk to are proud that their country is once again safe and peaceful


• 90% of the vehicles are not roadworthy in my humble opinion. I almost got out of a taxi the other day when I realised that the terrible noise was the back axle scrapping on the ground
• Only about 30% of the population here are literate, but this doesn't stop the eloquent debate about Politics and Football in equal measure!


• Great French type bread, fresh warm and incredibly cheap

Wonderful beaches and great coastline yet most Saloneans don’t seem to be able to swim, of have even visited most of the beaches south of Lakka (ie gone more than about 10 miles out of Freetown)

Amazing religious tolerance. Predominant religions are Christian and Muslim. Inter marriage is quite usual as is joint prayers at the start of meetings. Religion plays an important part of society. Churches and Mosques are full and everyone dresses up for the occasion

People have the most fantastic smiles!!

A weeks worth of drinking water, is very very heavy to carry home!

Everyone hold hands with each other, including the men

You have to take time to greet people and this does extend the time it takes to do anything! However I have stopped noticing this in favour of enjoying the social interaction, its become part of my job!

Entertainment of public posters! Apparently one down town in a photography shop read 'we shoot you while you wait'


• There are the most amazing electrical storms!


• The local Star beer is actually quite good and I good do with one now, writing is thirsty work!

One or two out of three aint bad!!!

When people ask me why I am here, I still have difficulty answering that question. My short answer to deflect anyone from delving more deeply is to say ‘Save the world, Loose weight and find a man’!! So I thought that these 3 aims would be good blog material.....

Save the World – well of course I did this in the 1st 2 weeks!` Seriously though, this is the old development debate of whether you spend your time filling skill gaps verses capacity building with your colleagues. The capacity of the Ministry is so weak and ambition to change this so high but figuring out where best to put my energies is difficult and in the meantime I do a lot of gap filling! However I am confident that I can somehow shape out a more focused role for myself in the next month or so. Of course you can never save the world but doing something that could change lives, even one, feels good. However, this doesn't balance enough against my feelings of being totally useless and hopeless in the face of so much poverty and suffering.

Loose Weight – well this is pretty easy to do when you constantly sweat, living in 30+ degrees, no longer eat diary products and spend at least 50% of your life with the runs! However, this percentage is decreasing as my body get used to the local bugs!! I’ve possibly had dysentery (I don’t really want to know) and I’ve just taken my 1st ever day off work with this most endearing of complaints although mostly I am completely well and to be honest I needed a day to myself! Also I do eat most food I’m offered on the basis that it’s rude not to, but I don’t eat things that are clearly not a good idea (like fish heads and foofoo which is indescribable mush)! I’ve even eaten some street food, so it’s just a matter of time probably before I have to get out the worm medication!!! However my ability to loose more weight is offset by the rather large of amount of beer and cider that I seem to consume. The local star beer is rather good and starts at 50p a bottle. So I’ve lost a stone and another 3 or so to go, if I can keep off the booze!

Find a Man – well on the face of it this would be the easiest of my 3 challenges as I get asked for my phone number almost every day, the record being 3 times in as many hours! And I’m not just talking about old guys with one eye, but really hunky blokes half my age! I always politely decline as I question the motives of some of these apparently lovely lads, but equally living like a nun is rather boring!

The photos are of the workshop I attend last weekend in Makeni, plus brunch at Howard and Frankie's and finally a typical Krio village setting in Bombali district. So..... hence the title of the blog.... ‘1 or 2 out of 3 goals’, well, clearly 2 is achievable, 3 is impossible but I did love that Meat Loaf song!

A walk in the Mountains... to Gloucester

Behind Freetown is the forested Leicester Peak, surrounded by small Krio villages with other English names like Gloucester, Regent as well as Leicester itself. Last Saturday I went on my first Sierra Leonian hike around the mountain, starting and finishing near the American embassy (a huge ugly monstrosity, what a surprise!!) and…. it was a rather magical day. You all know how a love to walk!!!

Lots of children were very interested in me as its not often that a white women strolls through their village. Joseph kindly agreed to take me on the hike and along the way I also learnt more about Freetown and Sierra Leone. We visited the church in Gloucester where local musicians were pracricing and stopped to chat to people and take photos. The rural areas above Freetown are quite beautiful and enterpreneural farmers are growing lettuce and tomatoes and selling them by the roadside. The walk finally end ups at Fourbay college, a university complex high above the city with breathtaking views. Then we took the ridge road back along the hill with constant views of the city below passing stone masons breaking up slate to be used for building materials .

So on 8^th May 2010, way above Freetown on the walk back, Rosie called my mobile and passed me to my 94 year old (today) Grandma. I had to shout Happy Birthday and that I loved her, at the top of my voice because she is rather deaf and frail, and this was much to the surprise of the stone workers. I wondered afterwards what she would make of this wonderful place and realized how lucky I was to be able to travel and explore and have lots of opportunities that she never had. Many of the Sierra Leoneans I meet each day have so very few oportunities but work hard to improve their lives and those of their children and grandchildren. Adequate food and housing are a challenge, travelling to another country is sheer fantasy for most. I cant tell you how much I want them to succeed. This place and the people have really found a central place in my heart.

Being a VSO… a more brutal experience?

One of the main audiences for this blog will no doubt be other potential VSOs thinking about coming to Africa and specifically Sierra Leone so its only right that I should describe what its really like!

A place called home….VSO has 5 flats/houses in the West end of Freetown although the one is to be closed I understand. If you are based in Freetown then you will either live on one of these houses or have your accommodation supplied by your employer. Rey who works for COMHAS (clinical school) has the best deal with a house to himself, free transport, a guard, fans and a fridge (and has regular parties!!)! I live in Frazier Davies Drive in a 1st floor flat and described as the best VSO place because of the availability of running water and electricity plus the lovely balcony with a view. Having said this, the accommodation is really basic and your place may lack very basic things like cutlery and crockery. Be prepared to spend the equipment allowance (about £50) on these things. There are varying views about having a fridge. Its obviously only possible if you have reliable electricity and until this week we did have this, but after 6 days with no power, then I am not so sure! But if you are cooking alone and for health and economic reasons its necessary I think. However, I have yet have the 'battle of the Fridge' or 'Operation Hotpoint' as I'm calling it.
Being a millionaire…Then there is the living allowance of 1.35mLe per month (just over £200), it’s a pittance by UK standards (£7.50 per day) but more than reasonable for the average working Sierra Leonean. If you want to have any kind of life then you’ll spend easily about twice the allowance. This is not eating out every day or having lots of beers and includes bargaining for food at the market and cooking for yourself but you can have treats too (just found out where to get chocolate croissants, result!!). I have stopped thinking that I can earn 3 times my monthly allowance in day or two in the UK, as the longer I can eek my money out then the longer I can stay. I am not sure how anyone could live on the VSO allowance in Freetown although its maybe possible up country where produce is cheaper.

Being an ‘Ex Pat’ but with a difference…The social life here is good. Everyone includes you and there are lovely places to go and things to see and do. Making friends to socialize with isn’t difficult, but you do realise that virtually everyone else is getting something comparable to a UK salary as they are working for an NGO or a donor and usually have transport provided, either their own vehicle or a jeep and driver. I’ve met folks who have never used public transport and in fact are not allowed as its considered unsafe! Luckily you get offered lifts and occasionally treated to lunch. I’ve been told never to refuse another’s hospitality (within reason of course!) and that was good advice. Tim was especially generous and I’m hoping that he and Laslo will come and visit me when I’m home so I can reciprocate! This situation made me feel a bit resentful to start with and feeling that I have lots of experience to offer and its somehow valued less. However, I’ve reflected on the fact that I was told all of this by VSO. Volunteers are exactly that; volunteers and working here within the Sierra Leonean system as you are placed with a local partner (maybe in positions that only could be filled by VSO) and not for an international organization. The reasons for being here are maybe different (mine certainly are), motivation and expectations are different and the experience is perhaps more real/gritty. Being a VSO can be a step to getting a paid job in development and there are many ex VSOs here working now for NGOs. Finally,,, I can’t quite get used to being called an Ex Pat and being part of the Ex Pat community. Not sure what it really means, I was never that patriotic in the first place!!!

Seafood galore… Yesterday I had barracuda and rice for lunch for £4.50 and it was fab. Last week I treated myself to a seafood platter and it included lobster!! There is no shortage of good fish and seafood here but it is alot more expensive, but the local african dishes are tasty and cheap, especially from the works canteen (less than £1 for ground nut stew or bean stew and rice). At home, we mainly cook pasta and tuna pasta is the most usual dish a most of the ingredients can be found in tins!

An in summary? Well if you can get used to the more gritty existence, you are friendly and open to opportunities and are prepared to supplement your income, if you stop the poverty and dirt, traffic jams and chaos getting you down and you remember why you volunteered in the first place, then life aint at all bad here. Of course the locals are probably the friendliest folks of all the countries in the world I’ve visited so far and Salone although challenging is also a beautiful, stunning and a fascinating place.

Transport and Football!!

I’ve mentioned the Poda Podas and the Taxis a few times but perhaps haven’t mentioned the large number of while 4 by4s around Freetown carrying, NGO workers, high ranking Government officials and some (not many) private citizens. VSO is a charity and so are most NGOs but being we don’t have drivers or big jeeps or even more basic things like fridges! More about being a VSO later, but the only way to get around is to take public transport. This you might think is annoying but I actually rather like it because you meet so many people and get to know the town much better, as you need to know where you are going! And everyone knows that I hate not knowing where I am going (Rosie has nicknamed me 'Map Girl' for obvious reasons)!

I take a taxi to work in the morning. There are two options, you can charter (so you have the taxi to yourself) where you negotiate and agree a price, or you can jump into a taxi going your way for a set price, which is 900 Le (about 16p) and share with others. Poda are the same price but you can go further. Of course, I almost never charter a taxi, having figured out what is ‘one way’ for 900 Le and 2 way, twice the price, but sometimes taxi drivers try it on and you have to stand your ground!. Its easy to get to work but coming back is another matter. All the taxis and Podas come from the city centre are almost always full but as ‘VSOs can spot a lift a 30 spaces’ I somehow manage to make it home and one day I’ll just walk as its not actually that far. Twice I’ve been on the back of motorbike (not recommended) but don’t tell my mother (no helmet) and I also cadge a lift with frankly anyone who will take me to Congo Cross!

Pods and taxis are a source of entertainment for me because of their painted slogans and sometimes how overcrowded and dangerous they are (although that’s not actually funny!) My favourite slogans are ‘God help my boss’, ‘God bless Islam’, ‘Rooney is King’, ‘Safe Journey’, 'Why me' and 'Tottenam Hot Pours' spelt exactly like that!

English Football is very popular here and this is never more apparent than when travelling in a taxi as they always have a sticker or flag of the driver’s favourite team. There are small huts where locals go and watch footy for 1000Le per game. Although I don’t actually bother with football, because of the football mania, I have decided to support Liverpool because (a) I used to live there and (b) Alison would never speak to me again if I chose any other team and (c) Locals think its inconceivable to be English and not be interested in football!. The problem is that I don’t know any of the players but thankfully I haven’t been caught out yet!!!

27th April - Launch of Free Health Care

27th April, an ordinary day in the UK but an extraordinary day here - Independence Day and Launch of Free Health Care for pregnant and breastfeeding women and kids under 5.

This blog covers my trip to Kambia 21st/22nd April and Launch Day. I've not blogged for 2 weeks mainly due to how busy its been and lack of electricity in Freetown!

Two weeks ago I was in Kambia district visiting the hospital and clinics. It’s hard to know how to write what I saw and felt. The hospital was generally in a poor state although some wards were much better than others but the real shock was seeing the malnourished children like the 2 year old girl who looked the size of a 6 month old baby. Malnourishment is apparently easy to treat but a whole ward of kids (ward being a dark hut with a dirt floor and beds in bad condition with old, often ripped mattresses) was a lot to take in. You read the reports and take a sharp intake of breath at the public health statistics, but seeing the reality for women and children in a country with one of the worst maternal and infant death rates in the world… well its quite another matter. The conditions within which people are cared for and staff worked are frankly awful in many places in comparison.

My role was to document the 'state of readiness' of the hospital and clinics as part of the team. The Children’s and Maternity hospitals here in Freetown which I visited on Independence Day were much better (although getting drugs supplies has been problematic).The primary health clinics I’ve seen here and up country are also very variable. The photos here are of the hospital price list, some school kids on the hospitals grounds and outside one of th ePHUs we visited (my boss is the one in the cap!)

On 27th April the launch event took place at the Princes Christian Maternity Hospital (next to the Kids hospital, called Ola During) in Freetown, with the President, Vice president and Chief Medical Officer speaking amongst others. It was mad busy and there were hundreds of pregnant women there for a start as well as a huge queue of mums with small children outside Ola During waiting for treatment. It was so busy that one of the doctors, Fiona (my VSO house mate) was triaging in the middle of the chaotic queue for what seemed like hundreds of people.

At the launch ceremony, I was rostered to help and was in charge of entertainment management…. So if anyone wants me to herd singers, dancers and comedy players into being in the right place at the right time and with a PA system arriving 2 hours late…. Then I’m your woman!! . So… it was with a lump in the throat for many people that free health care was launched last Tuesday as it is so badly needed here. Now you could say that the hard work really starts, with lots of logistical problems still to overcome (some plans are in place) like the availability of running water and electric, blood supplies, improving trained staff numbers, facilities renovation, equipment, drugs and consumables and overcrowded wards: solutions are still needed across the country in the 13 Districts.

Despite all these problems however, this was a massive step forward for Ernest Koroma’s Government in raising awareness of the right to free health care for the most vulnerable in society. In the coming months I hope to contribute is some small way to make this a sustainable reality. See these links on the BBC and Guardian websites for more info:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/sarah-boseley-global-health/2010/apr/28/maternal-mortality-infant-mortality

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/8645968.stm